The "ALERT" Song of Life

This piece of writing is dedicated to all girls who will get married in coming 2-3 years ‘but don’t want to’. Before you would quote something in your mind. Let me be clear that I’m in the same shoes and that is what motivated me to pen down this. Well coming to the point, I personally feel belonging to the Indian Society where marriage means more than just a knot between a girl and a boy. As per my experience with my friends and family of same age or a bit a year younger or elder than me, the person who has to give up their career and ambition is a girl in most of the cases. I believe our society is not able to take in if a girl is more ambitious than a man. We are made to believe since childhood and that is the reason I have never seen in my 25 years that a married woman is earning more than her husband and so called society is accepting her. Well I would discuss this in my next blog.

It became important to write the “song of life” for me as an alert for those ambitious girls who want to achieve numerous things in life and have dreamt to fulfill their weirdest desire.  Girl, you are very lucky that you still have2-3 years as a bachelorette  and you can do as many things without excuse. But that’s only gonna happen if you’re serious about it.

Here are the few things I have applied in my life and somewhere deep within I don’t regret it.

First of all you have to be patient. Nothing comes at once. Patience about the things you want to do and you are looking forward to.

Stop spending all your money on shopping. This is one of the thing that girls can’t resist easily. I have experienced that shopping takes all your money. Every month when you salary is credited the first thing that comes in your mind is shopping. NO! don’t do that, instead save some money and spend it on the things that you have been thinking of doing for so long. Be it traveling, or pursuing your hobby or something else you wanna go for. Do that because the right time is now.

GOA trip is one of the talk that we all do and never execute it. If you are fond of traveling and have always wanted to drop in GOA with your friends. It’s the time to execute that without thinking.

Get uncomfortable a bit. We all know that life starts at the end of our comfortable zone. If it takes your weekend to do things you love, let it take. That is how you differentiate yourself from others.

You are not machine and your life is not only about office-sleep-repeat and you’re more than this.

Work smart and earn lots of money. The only person you should depend upon is yourself. Be financially independent. The joy of lavishness with your own earned money is exotic.

Stay fit! Fitness is very important for everyone. But at this age this should be one of your important and priortized goal. Be consistent with what you eat and workout well. Learn to control yourself when you see a junk. It is not important to eat ‘golgappe’everytime you see it. Make a schedule of eating healthy foods and cheat on weekends.

Carpe Diem my friend! Enjoy every bit of what you doing. Don’t think much about future. Thinking much about your future will mess your life and make your present complex.

Don’t be clingy to your boyfriend.

Boyfriends are very important part of your life. Don’t leave them and they deserve your time but that is not the only thing you are born for. It is very important to add different flavors to your life. Some are for friends, some are for boyfriend and many for your own self.

Be happy about who you are- find happiness within you and in your own company. No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

Stop thinking about-Log kya kahenge

Do things that makes you happy, people talk and forget. Don’t worry about them. After 5 years you will realize’I would have done that’.

So you! Live every moment of your life and fulfill all your small scattered desires before you miss the train. This alert “Song of Life”is just a reminder to explore who you are and what you have left since long. Give your life a kick and be the way you are because that’s what makes you "YOU"

Not a good conversation with Autorickshaw Driver

Like any other week day, I was heading to my office in an auto.  But that morning was different and disappointing at the same time. The auto driver of my auto seemed little disturbed.  There was something shady about the auto driver which I somehow smelled. I think he was not happy with the routes which I suggested him to take due to peak timing traffic. For what he was blabbering something and giving me tough looks. For sometimes I resisted. Seeing no help I took out earphones from my bag and tried to avoid the situation. I saw he was still saying something. After 20 minutes or more I realized he was actually saying something to me. As soon as I removed my earphones, he started talking to me. He started sharing the reason of his grumpy mood. According to him, his wife was the reason for his bad mood. They had an argument over some household things the previous night which made him frenzy the next morning. At first I thought why is he discussing these things with me? As I was already getting late for my office and I had no interest in his talks I didn’t pay much attention to his married life quarrel stories till the time he said that he whacked his wife in the morning because she did not prepare tea for him

Image: taken from Google just for depiction

.I was completely shattered hearing this statement. Further he added ‘madam in villages it is common scenario', everyone raise their hands on wives. We have grown up seeing this and I don’t have patience to see that she is not serving me tea in the morning. Listening all these I became impatient. Now I was more attentive and wanted to hear more of this. He was so cool about saying all these as if these are daily activities, you know like we eat food or drink water. I mean the guy who was merely 23 and his wife 21 as he said ,married for one year are up to this. He was so positive about what he was saying that he obviously can’t see any flaw in his action. He exclaimed that there is a huge difference in couples(married) of cities and villages. According to him couples in city stays with affection but the scenario in villages are completely different and people are used to it. Hearing all these it occurred to me that –did raising hands on his wife solved the problem? I asked him the same. He had no answer. It meant obviously not. My mind was fraught with questions for him at that time. But somehow I refrained. It does not made me stop thinking about the society we live in, where we have grown up seeing and believing that the man who earns money and who is physically powerful than woman has the right to overpower them by using their hands. 

This is another ugly face of domestic violence. The problem with this kind of violence is that women in our society has accepted that domestic violence is inseparable part of married life. Financial dependence of wives on their husbands has tied their hands not to defend them.They keep on suffering and eventually they get used to it. It is quite distressing that the situation is getting worse and will continue if we won’t speak up. It is important to change the way we think. It is the mindset that we have built that suppresses women and gives men the freedom not to think twice before doing ill-treatment.It is imperative to change that mindset that persist or else we will land nowhere.

Till that long auto ride I realised that you do not need to be literate to treat your spouse well. So, the issue doesn’t lie with you belonging from any city or village. Mistreatment or a better word 'domestic violence' does not solve any of the problems.

Now, let me be clear to you, I’m not a Misandrist, I just want to scream louder to make you listen that respect,not because she is woman but because she is human.